October 2010 Archives



Today was a perfect mashup of the first day of school and Christmas, if school and Christmas were just about taking photos.  I think this is my favorite shot and I also think I'd like to learn a lot more about digital processing.  But first, I have to sleep. 
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Found this photo at my grandmother's house last month.  It's definitely my new favorite picture of my brother and me and I'd never seen it before.  That paper chain on the tree (you can see it to the right of Jay's cowboy hat) still goes up on my mom's tree every year, and I always do popcorn and cranberries for our tree.

Dang, we were cute.  Especially Jay.  Especially there. (I'm still pissed he got the curls.)   

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brownie reflex.jpg

blurry iPhone shot of my new/old baby

Number two on my Forty by Forty list was to get a twin reflex camera and do that through the viewfinder thing, and I'm so manically thrilled (in a good way) to be taking this workshop this coming Sunday.  I'm even willing to take BART all by myself to get there, and BART goes in tunnels.  If tunnels don't scare you, then good for you.  If they scare you like they scare me, then you know what I'm getting at.  And if they scare you like they scare me, do you also not like to stop your car under an overpass?  Just curious.  My other dumb fears include ladybugs (I don't want to even talk about it), snakes, reaching for stuff that is under the bed, talking dolls, getting hair in my mouth, that alien movie with Mel Gibson and Joaquin Phoenix, and thinking about papercuts. *shiver*

Honestly, though, I'm so happy to get to take this class.  Already I'm feeling my shoulders relax and even if I don't take a zillion amazing photos I'm going to have a kickass time.  Plus?  I get to actually meet Andrea, writer of one of my favorite blogs Of All Time.

I've never used a twin lens camera before, and when I first got the camera in the mail (ordered from this fabulous, super fast shipping Etsy seller), I thought maybe there was something wrong with it and I was a little bummed.  No, I was a LOT bummed.  So I started looking online to see if maybe I could figure it out.  I was able to open the viewfinder, but when I looked through it, I just saw hopelessly blurry patches of color and nothing was even close to being in focus.  I knew that Andrea would have a couple of extra cameras on hand, but still, I wanted to do this right.  Three or four times I tried different things, but always all I saw was kind of a mess.  Not a mess in a good way, either, which is possible.

I don't know what switch in my brain I bumped, but while I was thinking about it driving home I suddenly knew that I was putting my eyes way too close to the camera and that I should look at it from a little further back.  Sure enough, I got home and took it off the shelf and opened it up and looked down from a distance and there was my green desk and my red chair, looking all exactly like I'd hoped.  I love it when that happens.

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I can't sleep.

Sophie is just a few strides into the fourth grade, but today she told me what she'd like as a fifth grade graduation gift.

  • beef jerky
  • twelve scratchers (lotto tickets)
  • a tin of boneless sardines (or anchovies)
  • a Mexican coke
  • five dollars, cash money
  • some gum


I went to Texas this week for my grandmother's funeral, which was amazingly good.  She would have loved it.  Two of her former preachers flew in from out of state to sing.  My mom spoke and did an incredible job.  It was sad, but also funny and sweet.  Everyone who knew her knew that she was always hot and cranking up the air conditioner.  It was actually cool outside, which is *not* normal for September in Texas, and there was a joke that she'd obviously found the thermostat. 

I always called her Tooty, which she didn't actually like so much, but she never made me do otherwise.  When we pulled into her church parking lot on the morning of the service there was a car pulling out with plates that said TOOTR.  I asked my aunt if she knew that car, but she didn't.  I'm not practical enough to not take it as a sign. 

I don't really know what to say, other than I'm very sad and it's very very weird to clean out the fridge of someone who's just died and that you love so much. 

We found an old suitcase with photos and 45 rpm records that were my mom's when she was a baby and napkins from their wedding in 1947.  The photos are so great.

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Mom&Tooty.JPG Tooty.JPG

She saved a bunch of letters I sent her, so I brought those home but haven't read through them yet.  There are some from when I was ten or so and staying at sleepaway summer camp.  She had this photo of my grandfather in her purse (he wrote her a sweet and rawrrr note on the back, but it was obviously just meant for her)

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Poppa died just twelve days before Willow was born in February of 2003, and I know she's missed him so much ever since.  The resounding theme of her funeral was how happy she is now to be with him again.  I'm trying to be happy for her, for that, but really I just miss her.

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