June 2006 Archives

I was kind of in a treeish mood today.  You know; still, quiet, rooted, thoughtful.  Old.  Observant rather than participatory.  (is too a word)  Sophie, however, was a little fire element, stuck to my elbow all day long, whining, stomping and complaining about every little thing imaginable.  She took all my energy and oxygen and patience.  I love her so very much, but I am worn out.  Plus, I'm a little mad at her for being so disgustingly good at the dentist's office.  I want some of that good, too.

I'm working on a new moopy.  He's going to be ninja. 

Before I took Sophie to her new dentist (she LOVES him) I had to clean gum out from under her armpit. 

So, last Thursday I decided that even though the months and months of potty learning hadn't been going too terribly well for Miss Willow, we needed to be done with diapers.  And, I took them away, day and night, just. like. that.  We even went to the beach that evening, diaperless, where Willow got to experience visiting a public toilet with me.  Ask any of my kids; it's all a blur of me marching them by the shoulders, tense as can be, hissing, "DONT' TOUCH ANYTHING WITH YOUR HANDS!!!"  Then, there is prolonged handwashing, followed by a handless exit, which can be bad if the doorhandle is too high for my foot to reach easily.

The night thing is a little tricky.  She has woken up dry maybe once all week.  The pee strikes around 4:30 am, give or take a little.  Yesterday morning I woke up at 4:30, went to check on her, found her dry, stupidly got in bed next to her and within three minutes we were both soaked.  I got everything cleaned up and we went back to sleep for awhile.  This morning I woke up at 4:30, went to check on her, found her dry and scooped her up and carried her to the bathroom.  I sat her on the potty, her eyes closed and her head wobbling on her little neck.  She opened her eyes and put her little palm on my cheek and puckered up her lips for a kiss from me.  I kissed her and then she peed (hooray) and then we went back to bed.  Only, this time, I couldn't get back to sleep. 

At 5:30 I decided I may as well go to the gym, so I did for the first time in forever.  Apparently, lots of other people slack in the summer; it was way less crowded than usual.  Usual being the last time I went in the middle of May.  I did my usual elliptical thing, and even though my heartrate was really high the whole time, I didn't fall off the machine and die like I was afraid I might.  I suppose I will start going regularly again, at least until Willow can go a night without peeing the bed.

I got the minimoopy all stuffed and sewed today.  He's kinda funky, but still cute, no?

I have a summer cold.  I'm so angry about it, that the mad is the worst symptom and that is saying something given the throat pain.  Pain!  Making me angry!  I have a bunch of new recipes I want to try this weekend, but here's my current favorite meal for you to make and enjoy.  It sounds kinda nasty, but really it is awesome and I could have it everyday happily. 

• 1 cup brown rice, rinsed and steamed with 2 cups water (brown rice takes 45 minutes)
• 12 ounces spinach, steamed
• this is totally unorganized.  whatever
• heat 3 tablespoons olive oil in a big skillet.  add as much crushed garlic as you like and let cook a minute
• add to that 6 beaten eggs.
• let the eggs set for a few minutes till they aren't runny.
• flip them over
• yes, it's a little hard. 
• let them finish cooking
• chop the eggs up into one inch or so squares
• add 2 teaspoons tamari
• 1 teaspoon toasted sesame oil
• 14.5 ounce can chopped tomatoes with liquid
• you should be letting the rice and spinach cook while you do the eggs. 
• when everything is ready and the eggs have simmered about ten minutes, make a plate with the rice on bottom, then the eggs then the spinach.
• so very good
• and hey! good for you, too

I spent some quality time with my sewing machine tonight.  I finished my sister's birthday gift (from the end of March, doh!) and got all but the stuffing done on my first Minimoopy.  I'm an idiot to stay up so late, but it was worthwhile anyhow.  Here are photos, not so great ones since it's so late.  Ashley, if you want to be surprised, don't click on the link, I'm hiding yours.

I fixed the fan!  It wasn't really and truly broken, the blade was just loose on the mount and not turning right.  Still, though, I restored it to its former kick-assness, and that felt so good I decided to work on the computer. 

The cd drive/burner that was the original to the computer works, but the mechanism that opens and shuts the door broke.  There was a second cd drive beneath that, but we couldn't make our own cds anymore.  So, I replaced the original one with a new cd burner that my sister gave me a few weeks ago.  I hooked everything up just as it was, but even though the computer told me that all devices were "working properly" neither of the cd drives would work.  In fact, if I selected either device on the my computer menu and hit "eject," they'd BOTH open.  heh.  Figuring that there was something internally important in the stuck shut stock one, I redid it all today.  Now the original is back, with the master hook up, and the new one is in with the subservient hook up and then there's the operable cd drive, still in there but not hooked up at all. 

Alrighty, then.

I went to see if a disc would play, and got a message that said the computer couldn't play the disc because it couldn't find itunes.  Hmmm.  I plugged in the ipod.  No itunes.  I tried to run itunes, and it no longer exists.  But, I know it's there somewhere.  I called my sister for advice, but had to leave a message.  Then I got impatinent and stupid, and started farting around.  That's never a good thing. 

I ran a repair thing from the itunes setup menu.  So far, so good, right?  Then I got itunes to open, and there was a totally blank library, because rather than repair, it decided to renew.  I plugged in the ipod, and all the music I have appeared in the library along with a message that said that this itunes library wasn't connected to this ipod and did I want to make this library the new library and update the ipod?  HELL NO! Because that library was empty.  So then I kept farting around and landed on music sharing.  I thought that I could get all my music from the ipod into this new library, so I shared.  And then the ipod started updating and you all know how it ends, don't you?

UPDATED!!  It ended okay.  I talked to my sister's boyfriend and he told me what to do.  I was able to find my old library and it's all good now.  Phew.  Now I'll see if I can get the cd drives to work.  Cross your fingers for me!

On Friday afternoon the fruitsandvegetables guy comes and rings our doorbell.  It's very exciting for the girls, and for me, too, to get our box into the kitchen and unload it.  The past couple of weeks we've had an extra box of strawberries, gratis, because a few weeks back the peaches were meh.  Today's strawberries tasted like the sun, which may be cliche sounding, but it was damn true. 

It's still stupidly hot here.  The girls hung out in their underpants all day, chugging orange juice and hogging the fan.  Tonight it did get a little bit cooler out, but our house is still really warm and everyone is cranky.  Nate wouldn't eat supper, everyone else picked, and even though I took a shower before I got into my pjs, I'm all sticky and uncomfortable.  My favorite fan seems to be on its way out; it still turns, but doesn't put out any breeze.  Tomorrow I will take it apart and look at it.  I love doing things like that, if only it weren't the kick-ass fan with the real metal blades. 

I found myself wishing for either a cameraphone or a tiny digital camera today.  Twice!  The first time, I was stopped at the stop sign at the end of our street, waiting to turn left, and a man walked into the intersection in front of me.  He had on these bright, spring-green clogs that were cracking me up.  The rest of him was pretty neutral, so they just popped right out at me.  Then, when I got to the bank, there was a white haired and bearded (loooooong bearded) man in these new stiff dark denim overalls and funny little work boots walking in the parking lot.  A jogger (dude, too hot to run.  really. not. healthy.) nearly ran into him and he and I exchanged that eye-roll you do when someone else is being an idiot.  I just wanted to take his photo.  Secretly, though.

I had something nice happen today.  When I was little and in the car with my father's mother, she'd play a game with us we called "old red barn."  The part of Texas she lives in is fairly rural, so lots of our drives went through country and took a little while.  We'd see how many old red barns we could spot, the older the better.  I still look for them when I'm in the car, and every time I see one I think of her. Tonight I was surfing around and trying to catch up on my blog reading when I decided to check my favorite Etsy artist.  I ordered this for my grandmother's birthday.  ** Updated to add:  She blogs,
too!  Hooray!

Tomorrow the pluots and nectarines that came today should be ripe.  They were *just* about ripe when they came today.  There is Rainbow Chard, basil, another basket of strawberries and red leaf lettuce.  I don't know if anyone will eat, but I feel like making something out of all that stuff.  I want to try out these two recipes, too.  Every recipe she's posted that I've tried has been wonderful. 

Oh, and I decided that the night time beach trip needs to be repeated often during the summer.  Hopefully weekly.  But, without the trip to Saturn Cafe after and with an earlier than midnight arrival home. 

I suppose I'm going to have to like summer from here on out.  Just remind me to really really shake out the beach clothes before I wash them.  I had to vacuum sand out of the dryer.

It's hot here.  We have no air conditioning.  I'm scared of how bad today will be, because at 8:30 a.m. I had to close all the windows and doors and I noticed that not even the toilet seat was cool. 

I have a plan for the evening that involves a very early supper followed by a car ride to the beach to play until the sun goes down.  Better get those ducks in a row.

BlogHer is just around the bend, which I'm guessing you already know.  What you might not know, however, is that there will be awesome, ON SITE child care for a very reasonable rate. 

I wish I had some child care RIGHT NOW.  The girls will not leave me alone.

all the cool kids are doing it

Baby O and I have the house alone for a few hours, so we are cleaning up and listening to Nirvana.  He crawls now, but isn't much good at pushing the vacuum yet.

How is a girl to feel when she gets denied a life insurance policy at age 35 for medical reasons?  I'm going for the "screw you, I'm going to live to be really old and happy," attitude, but a part of me is bothered that I'm not a good enough risk even for the relatively low amount I applied for.  And, get this: John got his approved and he puts butter, mayo, cheese, AND ketchup on his garden burgers.  Me?  mustard only. 

I find that I'm still trying to fit back into my own life since I came home from my trip last week.  I'm still in the newer, stricter, put up with less bullshit frame of mind that I snapped into when I realized how unpleasant my children could be when they tried.  And, really, I see some improvement.   Now that Willow is weaned and seems to be totally able to function without me around her all the time, I can start to think about doing some of the things I've thought about for the past nearly ten years but not had the time to pursue.  There are so many things that I don't know where to begin.   First though, I want so badly to get my house in order.  Something tells me that everything else will come easier if I can get on top of it and be organized and make better use of my time.  Looking around here, I think I'll start with my trashed computer desk.

  Moe! Andrew Steve 
  Originally uploaded by Corbie.

I didn't get to go to this show, but it had to be great with the multicolored bundt pan percussion. 

I did make it to the show the night before, thanks very much to BabyO's mom, who kept Willow from before supper Friday night until late Saturday afternoon.  Not only did I get to stay out until 3 a.m., I got to sleep in, shower and shop alone!  Excellent.  And Willow wasn't even phased by her first sleepover without one of her parents.  The bad thing for me about a little freedom now and then is that I just want more of it more often.  I told John it's better if I just don't take any breaks, but he had a better idea: he says I should take them more often, and that way they wouldn't shock me so much.  I LIKE his way of thinking. 

Yes, the girls ARE in the living room in their underpants watching The Simpsons.  But, it's OKAY because it's in FRENCH.

I'm getting spoiled.  I was gone all last weekend, and tonight I'm going up to San Francisco to see some friends perform.  The big kids will be with their dad, and Willow is going to sleep over at Baby O's house, so, GET THIS, I don't even have to come home tonight if I don't want to!!  Of course, I can't stay up late enough to be out all night, but if I could, I could!

Tomorrow my (much younger) sister graduates from UCSC.  I'm so happy for her.  Being a senior year college drop out myself, I have tons of respect for her dedication to her goals.  I knew she was smart all along; when she was just a tiny thing, maybe not quite two, she looked into the back of our station wagon where the seats had been folded down and said, "When the seats are folded down, it makes a flat surface." 

The boys are in school, sitting at their desks for the last time this year.  They'll be finished at 12:30.  I snuck over to Tarjay last night and got them new scooters and helmets that I'll give to them after I pick them up.  First and third graders work their little hineys off these days.  All damn year, nearly every single day, Nate has been mad about having to go to school in the morning.  Loves his teacher, has friends, loves math and history, but says all the time that he hates school.  So, this morning I said, "WOW, you must be so relieved that school is finished today!"

He got a little sad, and said that he is really happy, but that it also made him feel funny.  I told him that I know EXACTLY what he means by that. 

On the flight home there was a woman traveling with her husband, toddler and newborn.  She held the baby in the middle seat across the aisle from me, and her husband was directly behind her with their little boy.  When they came to serve lunch, I offered to hold the baby so she could eat, but she declined.  I didn't blame her; it's not generally a good idea to turn a fresh baby over to a stranger.  I told her that I have four kids, and if she needed anything to let me know.  Half way through lunch I looked over and saw that she'd pulled the tray table down, put an airline pillow on it, covered that all with a blanket, and had the baby laying on his back on the tray while she ate with her lunch in her lap.  "Bet you never tried THAT before!" she said. 

I haven't.  But I totally would.

This shadowy self portrait was taken the morning I left to come home.  Usually it's my kids who have a tough time with transitions, but right now it's me.  It was odd to spend time without them in the houses that I spent so much time in when I was little.  I didn't feel like a child, exactly, but I also didn't feel like a grown-up 35 year old mother of four.  Maybe I'm horrible, but I didn't miss my kids.  At all.  I mean, if they'd suddenly appeared I'd have scooped them up and been happy to hug them, but I wasn't pining away for them.  I really needed the break and the sleep and the quiet and the conversation and the sleep.  And the sleep!  When I came home they were so loud and they were bickering and whining and I was shocked.  I've been a total hard ass with them the past couple of days because I just can't stand their behaviour.  I'm not being mean, but I'm putting up with way less crap from them than usual.  I know it's only because I'm not so worn down, but I'm hoping to stick with the new, more whip-cracking me because the kids seem to be responding well. 

Both my grandmothers are doing well.  They both still live in the houses they built with my grandfathers, and things have stayed pretty much like they were when I was little.  I wish that they didn't have to live alone, but they both have friends and neighbors and family to help them and keep them company. 

I decided when I came home that since Willow hadn't nursed in a few days, now was the time to stop.  She was generally just nursing at night, but she's understandably sad about it.  She's not being demanding, just sad, which makes me feel bad.  But, really, it is time.   I'm just awful at letting go. 

Last week before I went to Texas, I was at the grocery store and I swore I saw my brother shopping.  I was just about to go give him a hard time, when I realized that it couldn't be him because he moved away at the end of last year.  And thinking about that still makes me get all teary.

So, I don't know.  I suppose that between all that stuff and some stupid health issues I'm having (I'm fine, just inconvenienced and on prednosone) and whatever, I'm pretty down.  Then I get on my own case because I really ought to be counting my blessings instead of moping and that makes me more depressed. 

Urk.  This entry is like when I trim my own bangs and end up with a huge unsightly mess because I keep trying to get it right when I can't.  I'll desperately look for something funny today.  Anything!

I remember swinging from this post when I was little.  It comes up to my knee.

Too tired to write.  And too sad.  Everything is fine, but going to visit my family is a tough one for me.  Small as the world seems, it's still as big as it ever was when people you love so much are so far away.

I'm flying to Texas tomorrow at lunchtime.  I need to pack, clean the house, make a million phone calls, write down all the info about the kids' school times and doctors and such, catch up on the laundry, update the ipod, lose ten pounds so I can fit into my shorts, and get some new sandals.  And a pedicure. 

Guess I'll just clean and pack.  And charge the ipod. 

Before I come back, the new look ought to be up and running.  Same address, with added Supa Design!   Many thanks to MaryBeth for not hating me about the orange.  I won't be posting while I'm away, but I'll check email and come back with lots of pictures of cows and oil rigs.  Or something.

is supa!  She turned me on to this comment management thingie.  Cool.  And, (shhhhhh) she's redesigning my page for me.  But it isn't ready just yet. 

I've never had an uncomplicated pregnancy and delivery.  Sophie's was by far the smoothest, but even with her I had strep when I was 39+ weeks and had to have a big fat shot of penicillin in my butt and hope I'd get over it before I went into labor.  Luckily, I did.  I went into labor on her due date, in the midwife's office.  I was at a birthing class at the time, and the first twinges I felt were during the videos she played of all these stoic, earthmama-types giving birth in gentle surroundings with husbands who had beards, said all the right things, and would never crack open a bottle of whiskey and pass out cigars to celebrate a birth.  The homebirthing community is a little bit hippie.  But, I'm okay with that.

I went by the drugstore on my way home from the class, skipping my huge belly down the aisles, giddily telling poor strangers that I was going home! to! have! a! baby!! AT HOME!!  I didn't care that they were afraid of me.  Armed with my witch hazel and olive oil and adult diapers (Seriously, after you give birth you will find yourself begging for those things.  Uh, NO, not to pee in.  Jeez.) and those big blue-backed absorbent pad things for the bed and whatever else I hadn't picked up yet, I headed home.  Briefly.  Then, feeling like things might take awhile, I went to a family party at the park.