Dear Sophie,
You know how I never get mad when you pee your pants (or worse)? And how I never flip out when you pee on the carpet or in your carseat? I have to tell you that peeing your pants three or four times a day is not something to strive for. WE HAVE NO WASHER AT THE MOMENT. If you don't stop, I'm going to clean your clock.
Love,
Mama
but I have interesting friends.
Odd, interesting friends. Odd in a good way.
Silly me for thinking that I'd be less busy after christmas was finally over. My step dad is home and doing really well. He has a bad cough, though, and every time I hear him cough it makes me cringe and shudder. (if you don't know, he just had a quadruple bypass) My grandfather is still in hospital. They tried to do angioplasty to clear his blocked arteries, but weren't able to do it. His heart is not functioning very well. He is in good spirits, sharp as ever, and talking with everyone. He will turn 93 on New Year's Eve. I really hope to see him in a couple of weeks when I go to visit.
Around here things are same as ever. The kids are spoiled with all their christmas loot. There are three portable dvd players between the four of them(thanks to Granny), and lots of new books and games and even an Edgar Allen Poe figurine and a stuffed version of the fierce rabbit from monty python, thanks to uncle greg. The boys got a game cube. Santa brought it because I would NEVER let them have such a thing. (Unless it was on sale at target and I knew they really really really wanted one. ahem) Fortunately, they are playing with the very cool set of maple wood blocks and this fort just as much, possibly more than, the video games. So, that is good.
I would pay good money for school to just fucking start already, though.
My washing machine broke. Again. I tried fixing it. Again. No luck this time. I only tried cleaning the water pump and putting it back in because I'm a tightwad. We did just replace it, after all. It didn't work. Now we have convinced ourselves that we desperately NEED a new, fancy, washing machine. We will see. Right now I must go over to my mom and dad's and change the laundry over. Must do something soon.
I talked to my dad on the phone last night. He hadn't called to tell me about his father because it wasn't really serious until yesterday afternoon. Things are maybe (hopefully) not as grim as my step mother thought yesterday. While I was talking to my dad, John was telling the boys that they needed to clean up their room. Lexy was saying that his stomach hurt too much to do it, so I told him that if he was sick he could go to bed and that I would clean up for him. He said he thought laying on the couch and watching tv would make him feel better. My dad laughed and told me that once when he was a kid, he'd given his mother some lame excuse like that to get out of something. My grandmother looked at him and said, "Well, Stanley, a poor excuse is better than no excuse at all." And he knew that he'd been busted. Without yelling or arguing. I wish I could parent like that.
This morning I talked to my grandmother. She said that my grandfather has fluid around his heart because there is a valve that needs to be replaced. He isn't up to the surgery, though. The plan is to get home health care in place for him and get him home. If he takes it easy, he may live for quite a while longer. Right now, no one is too sure how he'll do. All five of my grandparents children will be there this weekend. I wish I could be, too.
So when I called my mom at work to tell her that my grandfather (her former father-in-law) has been in the hospital for three days, most likely dying, and how upset I was that no one bothered to call me, I discovered that she was not there because she was taking my step father to the doctor because (I think) he's retaining too much fluid.
NO ONE EVER TELLS ME ANYTHING
IT REALLY PISSES ME OFF
My grandfather is one of my favorite people in the whole wide world. He's a doctor, he always is happy, he and my grandmother (another of my favorite people ever) have been married for 68 years and they still hold hands and love each other. I've never heard him yell except in happiness or at a football game. He keeps photo albums of all his five children and their families, and makes indexes so that when we come visit we can look up pictures of our parents or ourselves as babies. One album is all Christmases. Years and years of them. Every time the whole family is together he takes a head shot of everyone and puts those in, too. He tried to retire for at least ten years before he finally did, and even then he would take calls in the middle of the night for the nursing home if they needed him.
The last time I saw him was two years ago, when we all went for Thanksgiving. He looked around at all the little kids and said to me, "I won't get to see this bunch grow up. I got to watch my children and all of you (meaning his grandkids) grow up, but I won't get to see this bunch." He wasn't complaining or being dramatic; he was just stating the fact.
If he can hang in there awhile longer, he'll turn 93 on New Year's Eve. Two weeks after that, I'm going to be at their house for a visit. I would love to be able to see him again to say goodbye, but I think that he is in a lot of pain, so maybe it's better if he's already gone by then. I'm very very sad, though he's lived a long time, been blessed and happy. I need to quit crying and take my cookies out of the oven.
I always wash clothes in cold water because I am cheap. Cold water is better for the fabric and does not run up the gas bill. It also saved Nathan from a world of trouble, because the chocolate chips he left in his pocket didn't melt and I was able to get them all out before things went into the dryer. Must make lunch, drop the boys off with friends, and go to the liberry.
Excellent news! I hope it sticks.
My step dad came home from the hospital monday. He had a bad awful weekend, but now is home. Home has a comfy chair and big screen tv, (nice one, too) so it's much better than sharing a room with someone who isn't getting enough pain meds. He seems like he's doing really well. I am super duper paranoid about getting him sick. I think about coughing after open heart surgery and it gives me the shivers.
There is a palm tree near my mom's house with christmas lights on it. None on the trunk of it, just the top. It is so cute, and I really don't like palms too well. I tried to take a picture of it, but it came out crappy. Here it is anyhow
Maybe I'll pass it at twilight or dawn (no, I really hope not) and the lights will be on and there will be enough atmospheric light to make a better photograph.
Today I spent the whole day rearranging the boys room. Most of the toys are on a shelf that I put in the closet. Nathan now has a desk, and I threw away three kitchen garbage size bags of stuff, filled another for goodwill and have an overflowing paper grocery sack to give to my friend's four year old boy. It looks much better in there, but I still want to add a bookcase. Tomorrow I'll tackle the girls room. Suppose I ought to sleep.
I am going to make milk chocolate almond biscotti in a day or two. mmmmmmmmmmm
Nate turned seven today. He was born on a thursday, which I will always remember, because after everyone left the hospital that night he and I cuddled up in the bed to watch ER. I wasn't being neglectful; he was sleeping on my chest and the nurses all chided me for not putting him in the nursery and getting eight hours of sleep. And, it was the ONLY tv I watched the whole time we were there (which was extra since he wouldn't nurse) and I suppose I feel guilt about this, hence the defensiveness.
So, Happy Birthday, Nathan!
The other day we went to the post office to mail packages. (Duh.) Anyhow, I was in line between two men. In front of me was a former post office employee (this is a smallish town, so everyone in line -- including me -- knew or at least recognized him) and behind me was a man who knew him really well. The guy behind me was also convinced that I could not carry my boxes and kept offering to help and finally just picked them up and moved them before I could at one point. That irked me because they were not heavy at all. But what really made me want to beat the living crap out of the pair of them was the twenty-plus minute conversation they had about hunting. The following topics were covered. At great fucking length.
I feel like there was more, but this happened a couple of days ago and I had to wait for typepad to get repaired to blog it. That makes me sound bitter, but I'm not. I think it generally runs very smoothly and I am happy with it. I wasn't even paid to say that. It's genuine. I heart typepad. Time to go clean up and finish the tree. Hopefully I will also find the sewing needle I lost in the living room while we were making the popcorn and cranberry strings. Tonight I will make cranberry bread, because I bought three bags of cranberries when we really only needed about a half a bag.
I was so stressed out about getting things done for the holidays that I made John take the day off today (he was already off, but someone wanted him to sub and I made him say no) so I could get things done. It's nearly eleven, I am in my pajamas and haven't showered. So far I finished a scarf, wrapped a couple of gifts, and read the last three days worth of newspapers that I was behind on. I guess I got more done yesterday than I thought. Now it's off to drop things at goodwill, put some gifts under the tree at my mom's house, go to the post office and take Nate to the doctor.
Lex and I scrapped The Raven plan, and I found him a sweet and simple Shel Silverstein poem instead. I emailed his teacher late last night, telling her what was going on. He is supposed to do his oral presentation on Friday, so she is going to give him until then to turn everything in. I found a poetry packet on the Shel Silverstein webiste, and I am making him do it and turn it in as a sort of extra project for being late. Also, rather than artwork, he will write a small report. Hopefully he will get the message that slacking generally = much more work than if you just shut up and do it in the first place. We will see.
So. Apparently sometime around Thanksgiving, Lex's teacher gave the kids an assignment, due tomorrow, that I just heard about last night. Today, in addition to all the other stuff going on, Lex has to learn the first two stanzas of The Raven (I forgot how long that poem is and I hope desperately that just the first two stanzas will be okay with his teacher) and complete an art project to go with. I started the project for him (yes, I know. Bad mother. Uh, could I say that I'm teaching him about how nice it is to give and get help to rationalize my behavior?) The artwork will be cool, though. I took a cardboard construction paper packet backing piece (you know, the thing that makes the back cover on the pad of paper) and glued a piece of dark brown paper to it. On top of that, I glued a slightly smaller piece of beige speckled paper. Around the brown border I glued the first lines from the poem, printed out and cut into strips. Those go all the way around. All he has to do is draw a raven in the middle (I have another sheet, just in case we need to glue a new one on top. I'm a thinker!) I have four really big, black feathers. He can either have the wings extend off the page, and just have the wings be feathered, or he can cut them up and cover the entire bird. I vote for the long wings, but, uh, it's not my project. Remind me of that later, okay??
I called my mom this morning. She said that she hadn't seen Dad yet, but that his breathing tube came out during the night and that he was doing well. He should be home this weekend. Cue sigh of relief.
The surgery went very well. Dad had a quadruple bypass, and didn't need a transfusion or anything mechanical to help his heart. If your heart muscle is too weak, they put in a balloon-like thingie to help it pump blood around to all the places that need it. When we saw him afterward, he was still intubated and couldn't really open his eyes. He could hear us, though, because when my mom said something like, "You know, I do worry about him," to the nurse, he shook his head no, like, 'don't worry.' Then when she told him she was going to go back to the hotel and let him rest, he shook his head no again, and she said, "Yes, I am. Rest." Then he shook his head yes. And, you know, I worried and worried and worried about him and I didn't cry really until I saw that he was okay afterward.
I still do worry, because he's got a way to go before he's totally out of the woods, but the nurses say he's on track to leave the hospital after the five day minimum, which is good.
My two younger sisters, my t minus ten months brother in law, and I went up together. It was fun to be with them without my kids. I could make all the dirty jokes I wanted to! Yay! We all went out to eat with my mom, too, and I was reminded again how much I really love my little family. We went to a great little greasy dive kinda place and ate food that we ought to have shunned, since we just had someone we love a bunch get a bypass. (I had a great chocolate shake and fries) We cracked BAD and DIRTY jokes and laughed and laughed. My youngest sister had to get up and go outside, we were so bad. At her expense, sorta. I bet she stays mad for a long time. If she didn't read my blog, I could tell you what we said! The pitfalls of not being anonymous, I suppose.
While we were in the waiting room, I showed my older younger sister how to knit and pearl. She caught on so much faster than I did that I am sure she can make something cute soon. I am such a good teacher!
When I got home, there was a package from one of my favorite girls! Mail LOVE, people, true love! She sent me a lock and lock tofu holder, and it even has a little tray for the tofu to sit on in the water. It is SO GREAT! The package was loaded with candy, too! Tons of chocolate pocky and pretty peach and strawberry ones, little Japanese crackers with chocolate in the middle and tiny cartoon character stamps on them (almost too cute to eat) gummy strawberry stuff covered in chocolate and little gummy candies. Total heaven. And the gum!! I saw it and hid it so I wouldn't have to share with the kids! There is coffee. Coffee gum!! That is huge, right there. And blueberry and one that is a mystery (rose?) because I can't read the label. And also, lychee jelly. John is probably in love at this point; he loves that lychee stuff. So, I have to find some worthy goodies to send her way. I don't want to rush things. I will take my time and look because that is going to be one hard act to follow.
Time to fall into bed and sleep awhile. Tomorrow is back and forth to Lex's singing practice, Sophie's school, the post office and the Wild Bird Center for gifts, back to both the kids schools for pick up, then home for homework (and there is a lot to do tomorrow for one third grader I know. Really a lot.) and dinner and then a performance in the evening. Lex is in the Glee Club at school. I call it the singing group, because I feel that everyone should. It needs a better name than both of those, really. I hope to talk to my mom tomorrow, too, and see how things are going. The kids made cards and the nurse hung them on the wall. Lex's says something like, "I hope you pull through." (niiiiiiiice, huh?) Nate's says "Git Well," with a drawing of Nate holding his arms out to hug his granddad, who is feeling good enough to stand up in the hospital bed. It's so sweet. Sophie made one, too. I meant to grab Willow's watercolor and marker contribution, but I forgot.
ok, bed now
I did is bass-ackwards, but I taught myself how to make pleats this afternoon while making my grandmother's christmas gift. I'm pretty happy with how it came out. Hopefully the next one will take half the time!
I put lots of photos so you can see the fabric. Reminds me of Dickens. And John modeled for me, thus proving for all time that not only is he brave enough to sort of cross dress, but also that he loves me.
The surgery will be tomorrow morning. Thanks for all the comments and the emails. I'll post after I get home from the hospital tomorrow. In the meantime, here are photos to prove why I have not been on the computer much lately. These are only the ones for people who don't know about my blog.
I just called to tell dad that I'd rather have a quintuple bypass than quintuplets. They didn't answer the phone, though. Probably just as well.
John dressed the girls up in their Christmas finery and took them to a biker bar to shoot pool so I could go see Nate sing holiday songs at his school.
Today Willow and I will go to the pharmacy and the fabric store. I may tie her up beforehand. Later I have to sew and knit and get the gifts finished up and ready to mail. I'm thinking I won't attempt cards this year, though MAYBE if I finish everything else I'll send New Year's cards. And isn't this the MOST RIVETING post ever!?
Time to run.
I got up early this morning, got the girls and myself ready to go and made it to the county hospital for my 8 am appointment ON TIME, thankyouverymuch. Only, apparently I was not scheduled to come in today. I KNEW that I was, but didn't have the appointment card with me. I talked to the nurse so I could get the medicine that I need and came back home to a message from Lexy on the answering machine. "MOM I am so mad at you. The field trip isn't today, it's tomorrow and I TOLD YOU SO!!" I sent him with a sack lunch and his class tshirt.
Then I called a friend and arranged to go to her house to pick some things up tonight while Lex is at singing group practice. Only, he just called me to tell me that the practice is at 1pm, not tonight, and that I need to drop his shirt off at school before then.
I did finally find that appointment card. If I had a scanner, I'd show you that is says 12-08-05 8am. I'm so going back there later and showing them. grrrrrrrrr
I was driving behind one of these tonight. Reminds me of the time I went to an HIV/AIDS fundraiser in the early 90's (pre-kids, it was so long ago) and there were real, live runway models there, having droplets of punch and chewing their napkins. (hmmm Jealous much?) I can't see spending that much on a car, but for a minute or two I sorta did.
I packed the kids' lunches for tomorrow and they are filed in the fridge. The boys have a friend over (his mom is out of townish) and so there are three lunches. I am still amazed at what I packed them: f*ster F@rms turkey sandwiches on white bread (two with mayo, one dry), Sp=ngeB=b Squ@re P@ntz cheezzeits, Pr!ngles in a tiny plastic throwaway cup, 0re0s, and juice boxes. I don't know when I have felt like such a total loser. May as well send them with bags of garbage. Garbage smothered in hydrogenated oil and sugar and artificial food colorings! Willow's tofu consumption doesn't excuse me, either. It's shameful!
Dad is doing alright, according to my mom. I haven't talked to him and don't think I'll visit because the kids are sick and I do not want to get him sick right now. I'm going to be at the hospital for the surgery, though. Papa just came home and Sophie is still up, so I'm going to sign off.
I just talked to my mom on the phone. My step-father needs a quadruple (!!!) quintuple (even more !!!!!s) bypass. I didn't even know they did that many at once, but they do. He'll have to be in San Francisco, which is just far enough away to be a huge pain for my mom. You want to be close times like these and also able to leave the hospital and get stuff from home when needed. Plus, if you need to get there fast, an hour away is really really far.
I'm so worried for him that I have to just have faith that he'll be fine. I think he will. Mom says he seems good right now. Surgery has to wait until the blood thinners are out of his system, so he's stuck in the hospital for several extra days.
Thanks very much for all the comments and emails. It's so nice to have people all over sending good thoughts. I really believe that it helps. John is off work next week, so I will finally get a chance to help my mom with errands or phone calls or whatever she needs from me. If only I were a paralegal, I could work for her and that would take a huge load off her mind. But, they would throw me out the window (several floors up) before lunch, I am sure.
Yikes. I forgot to put the kids to bed. Willow fell asleep at 7, and the big ones are being quiet. Better run.
My step father has been in the hospital since friday, and he and my family could use any positive thoughts, prayers or good wishes you could send. I'm going to respect his privacy and not give all the details. I can't imagine asking someone in the hospital, "Uh, do you mind if I write about this all on my blog?" Just seems wrong. But it is serious, and we do love him.
I have to run get Lex from play practice. Kiss your loved ones, or call them and tell them you love them.
Also, today I learned that if someone puts the beach barbies (Have you met them yet? They have little tan lines and smell like suntan lotion. Real lotion. Coconutty, not sunblocky.) on top of the heater vent when it is cold and the heat comes on, the house will magically smell tropical.
While eating her raw, cold tofu cubes for dinner * Willow said, "Want HUMM-USS and chips!." The topper was that she was naked.
*She pointed to it in the fridge and said, "I want DAT CHEEZE! I made chili, and cheese and cayenne biscuts for the grown ups, so she had alternate food, and like I already wrote, she asked for tofu.
Sophie and Willow painted their fingernails with a light blue, metallic, glitter polish. Sophie decided that Willow was too wiggly, so in an effort to keep her still, she painted her tongue with nail polish.
I think this means that I can only pee alone when they are asleep.
