April 2005 Archives

Oh wow.  This woman is amazing!  I feel like I've had a productive day if I get a shower, do laundry and dishes and add something really wild.  You know, like clean off all the clutter on top of the microwave.  Someday soon I may add yoga to the lineup again.  I hope.  If she can play cello and do yoga and homeschool with eleven kids, can I not take a stained glass making class with my measly four???   I am so impressed. 

It's the middle of the night.  Oh wait, I just looked at the clock.  I have to sleep so I can get Willow to the acupuncturist in the morning.  Didn't make the farmer's market last time and won't this time either due to John's work schedule.  But I may get to have lunch out with a friend and I'm making a really decadent dinner.  Baked Ziti, swiped from Jen and Tonic.  Her baby is the cutest thing in the universe.  Seriously.

Willow's knock-knock joke:
"naw-nawk!"
here somebody says, "who's there?"
"stinky poop!"

That came from this version
knock knock
who's there
stink keep
stink keep who?
(you have to say it.  laughing yet?)

You can also sub "I'm a pile up," for the stink keep, but that's sort of mean, I think. 

What is the word for the feeling where you aren't depressed but you are melancholy in a good way?  Sort of a bittersweet nostalgic feeling that makes you want to listen to really well-done sad music or read something good but sad, like, The Time Traveler's Wife.  I have that.  I was at the playground in the rain with the girls and they were laughing and going on the slide and getting soaked.  And I was laughing at them, but also feeling really weird about the fact that in a few years they'll be grown.  I want them to grow up, but I love this part of being a parent.  I read a book written by a mom once and she likened a child growing up to them wandering off into the woods and never returning.  It is somewhat true.  If I think of the child that Lexy was at age three, I have to admit that that little being is gone.  And I wouldn't have things any other way, but that doesn't mean that I don't feel a little sad for how they were. 

Time to go try out Veggie Mama's tortilla soup recipe.

The acupuncturist was nice and didn't use needles.  She recommended a few things that I'm trying, like fish oil and a special type of massage, and some things that I haven't, like beef broth.  Willow still is turning purple (like this morning. . . ) but it isn't clear why.  The acupuncturist says that her heart and lung chi are deficient.  We also saw a medical intuitive, courtesy of my friend, K.  What an interesting experience, even though the setting was too noisy to pay the close attention I'd have liked.  I am still giving lots of thought to what she said.  Something sort of funny (in my view) was that the tarot card that was drawn for Willow's medical issues was Coyote, the Trickster.  Yep.  I hope he gets tired of his game soon and lets us know what is going on. 

I have to go get the boys from school.  They have been promised a trip to the book fair.  I don't have enough money on hand to get anything for the girls, though.  I for see a big screaming fit.  Maybe I can play with the girls on the play yard while the boys shop.  I hope.

I just lost my connection to the Internet.  The computer is dialing.  Fingers crossed.  It seems to be really hard to get and stay on line lately.  Oh good, it's back.  time to run

I'll have to come back when I'm less cranky about yelling at my kids.  I hate yelling.  I am in the mood from hell.  Ick. 

I listen to a local a.m. station sometimes while I drive so I can listen to the news.  They carry the CNN feed, then break to do local coverage every half hour.  Perfect.  Traffic reports, too.  But lately, CNN is thinking it needed some more hipness and has turned into one of those stupid HardCopy kind of shows that made me give up watching tv news a long time ago.  It's just the worst of the worst straight out of Bowling for Columbine: stay tuned to hear how dangerous your drinking water might be!  are your kids' schools filled with asbestos???  does your landlord have a hidden camera in your toilet???

Ugh.  That crap just makes me bristle.  My idea of hell is not filled with fire, it's inescapable Jerry Springer.  ANYWAY  out of habit I sometimes still listen (oh my god, didn't they figure out how lame they sound yet??) and the reporter was theorizing about cops! on! steroids! when he said something about how dangerous it would be for your law enforcement officer to go on a "roid rage."

And you know that the first thing I thought was WHY??? what would a cop who's pissed off about his hemorrhoids do????

So.  It's no secret that money around here is tight.  For the big kids, anyway; the four little ones get everything they need and then some.  I have to confess that I made an impulse buy tonight that I shouldn't have.  I bought (hi John, how's the conference?? Having a great time?  Don't panic; it's okay!) a photo printer at Target.  I have spent MONTHS looking at ads for the things, biding my time until they came down in price.  And, they so have.  I got an HP Photo printer at Target for 35 dollars.  Of course, our computer is, according to the installation cd, too slow to operate it.  But, that new computer is on the way and soon soon soon I will be printing pictures like this:

from my very own little bedroom office.  Suddenly very sleepy.  Night.

This is what John was doing when he went away in December.  He's in the first couple of shots.  One of my friends was ASTONISHED that I let my husband go off to have fun and leave me with the kids when we were, well, flat broke really and right before Christmas and all that.  But, you know, it was something he needed to go do.  And, I'm sure he'd have gone no matter what I told him.  And what goes around comes around. Heh.

If you aren't already reading Go Fug Yourself and Manolo's Shoe Blog, then by all means CLICK!  Especially if you need a good laugh.  The Gallery of the Horrors made me laugh till I snorted.  Not pretty.  Here's a sample where he's describing a pair of birkenstocks:

For some of the reason, unknown to the Manolo, this shoe it has the cachet with the bohemians and the pot-smoking hippies of the crunchiness. Indeed, you would have to be high to wear this.

Ack!  I think my computer is dying.  It's (that's a contraction for "it has."  can I do that?) taken acid and when I scroll down a page it makes trails that stay there for a minute or two.  Hmmmm.  Bad omen.  It also sort of checks out for a couple of minutes from responding to the mouse, then comes back to me.  I think my brother is getting us a new/used computer soon, very soon! If I go away I'm awaiting the new/used item.  Also, my van keeps (so far twice) stalling while I'm waiting for the light to change.  AND HEY!  Don't honk at me if I'm not going when the light turns green if I put on my hazards and you notice that I'm trying to start my car.  NOT HELPFUL.  why am I up?  not helpful, either.  Insomnia or no, I should lay down and pretend to sleep.  I'm gonna hate tomorrow, when I take the kids to an evil evil vile indoor play place at 10:30.  Ick.

Sophie asked me what we were having for dinner.  I said, "Oh, I dunno, how about beans and chicken nuggets and broccoli."  She leaned over (she was standing up at the time with a tee shirt but no pants or underpants (yeah, I know, but I wasn't up to the battle)) and farted and yelled, "AND FART CAKES!!!"

Good lord.  That child.

SO, I took Willow to the doctor.  Her feet have normal reflexes.  I asked them about Raynaud's Phenomenon and they were kind of "meh" about it.  She's too young and it doesn't happen every time she gets cold and blah blah.  She is healthy and fine and all that.  I asked about the connection between Raynaud's and other illnesses.  Basically the doctors don't want to do anything at all.  They don't want to see if she has Raynaud's because they wouldn't treat her for it anyway, other than what I'm doing, which is keeping her warm and warming her drinks.  If she has an auto immune disease, then we'll just have to wait until those symptoms show up.  There's not anything to do but wait. 

No thanks.

I'm taking her here this weekend.  The woman I spoke to on the phone, and also my lovely friend K, a patient there, seem to think that she can be helped now.  I just want to help her circulation and learn about why her body does this and how I can help her.  I'll let you know what 2 year old + acupuncture equals later on.  We'll see.

The big kids are due home any minute now, so I ought to go swig some coffee and mentally prepare myself.  I don't realize how hard it is taking care of those monkeys until they are gone for a couple of hours.      

Willow is still turning purple.  It happens after she drinks cold milk or juice, so I warm her milk and let her juice or water sit out before giving it to her.  One of the most dramatic reactions she's had so far came from some cold yogurt the other day.  Today it was a diaper change that got her chilled enough to make her lips and fingers turn purple/blue.  I am so worried.  The doctors don't seem to think much of it, but my mama radar is going off the chart.  I'm taking her in again today because last night I saw a splinter in her heel (stupid tan bark at the park got in her shoe, I think) and she let me get it out with a needle and tweezers and didn't pull away or flinch.  She's too little to have callouses, so that seems to me like she's got some loss of sensitivity.  I told my mom about this, and she told me that her mother's mother (Willow's great-great grandmother, whom I remember well) had something called Raynaud's Phenomenon.  Of course, I googled away and found awful scary things to keep me up all night.  The worst one I read said that Raynaud's is very rare in young children, but when they do have it, it is very likely to be the first symptom of scleroderma.  I'm so worried.  I know that the chances are high that she's just fine.  We went through this before; when she was tested for cystic fibrosis.  In the end, I decided to just stop looking at all the scary stuff and take her to the doctor.  We've got an appointment today.  When I pulled into the driveway this morning after taking Nate to the dentist, our friends were next door.  They invited my kids to come play for the day with the kids they have with them who my kids know and like.  Thank you universe for that one, and forgive me for pushing it and asking for a really huge favor.  Please let my baby be fine. 

I've been super busy doing laundry ever since I FIXED MY WASHER!  I put in a new pump and got that sucker back together and operating.  By. my. self.  Gee, think I'm proud??

Speaking of proud; here's my girl:

You don't want her mad at you.  Further proudness:

That's a christmas gift (ahem) for my brother's girlfriend.  I just finished it.  Sigh.  The colors didn't come out as well in the photo as I'd like, but there's no sun out for pictures right now.  It's a cute scarf; you pull the tail through a tiny hole in the opposite end so it sits snug against your neck.  Take note of maybe 1/10th of John's cd collection in the background.  I'm not kidding.  Someday I'll post pictures of his cds.  And the records.  Sweet Jebesus, the vinyl.  (Hear my tongue clicking?)

Well, Sophie escaped strep throat and the boys are mending.  Willow woke up with a fever today and kept saying, "hurts."  I took her to the doctor, who says that she probably hasn't got strep (she sent out the two day culture since the rapid test was negative), but does appear to have fifth disease. 

Ack!  I just read that link and saw the part about anemia.  Willow is still turning purple, more so today than over the past few days, and now I'm worried that perhaps the anemia has returned and that's why she's getting blue and purple.  None of the doctors seemed to think that was the case, but if she's anemic, wouldn't she turn blue when she's cold more easily??  I'm going to have to change medical clinics because the people there probably think I'm a loon.  But, SOMETHING IS MAKING MY BABY TURN BLUE!  Why isn't that a big deal?  If she were only cold I'd have noticed it before.  Her fingernail beds glow purple; it is not subtle.  I see a sunday morning advice nurse call in my future.  I also think that I'll be waking up before 5 am, since Willow didn't nap and fell asleep for the night at 5:30 tonight.  I guess with the time change, it will be about 6 am.  I feel less tired already. 

All the big kids are gone.  In theory I miss them, but since this is the first time they've gone for the weekend, in reality I am enjoying this long stretch of down time.  I had all sorts of plans, but with Willow sick I'm scaling back.  Can't take a feverish baby all over town.

Time to go watch The Thing with John.  Cause I love him.  (I'm not a scary movie person, except I did like The Others and 28 Days Later.)