November 2004 Archives

This morning I was thinking I'd take a minute or two to post something funny that I wanted to remember.  Sophie says "lemelade" for lemonade, and it's very cute.  Maybe you had to be there, I don't know. 

But, I read the paper today and saw this story about the woman who killed her infant daughter by cutting off her arms.  All day I've been thinking about it.  About why this happens and if it can be prevented and if it happens in other places and if it used to happen a long time ago.

This is probably a weird thing to say, and I know that it could really be taken the wrong way, but, usually when I read about women who have killed their children I feel a medium amount of sympathy for them.  I don't ever think that it is alright to harm a child, of course, but I feel sorry for these women who are so desperate that they end up doing things like drowning their own babies.  I don't know if it's true, but it was reported that Andrea Yates' husband came home from work after the murders and the police wouldn't let him into the house.  He sat on the back porch.  One of the officers asked if he would like a glass of water and the man said that he doubted they'd be able to find a clean glass in the house.  I thought to myself, okay Mr. Asshole Yates, maybe if you'd pitch in and help your wife with taking care of the house where you live and eat and sleep, and maybe if she wasn't taking care of her elderly father and her five (or was it six?) children all by herself, and maybe if you didn't think that you should never use any contraceptives and have as many children as god gave you, and maybe if she had some help from you with her depression, maybe this wouldn't have happened.  I'll be honest; I have had moments when I feel so overwhelmed and undervalued and like such a monumental failure at everything that I have fantasies about living all by myself in a place where nobody knows me or wants anything from me.  And I am very happy with my life, even when I have to clean poop off the kitchen floor.  I've never thought that I wanted to hurt my children, but I do think of escape.

So, usually, generally, I feel like these women have been let down by those who should be helping them.  And I imagine the woman in Plano was probably not getting the support she needed, though I have no fact at all to base that on.  This time, though, I don't have any sympathy for the mother.  None.  I guess  it is because of the violence and the sickening way she killed her baby.  I don't know.  It reminds me of that awful rape case where the attacker cut off the woman's arms.  It's like something from a Greek tragedy.

I find that I've been crying about it a lot and that I have a really strong phsyical desire to just hold that poor little baby.  I need to go get my boys from school.       

Lots of glue around here, getting little magnets and pasta angels made for the craft fair.  I spent part of the afternoon learning how to backtrack while knitting.  I was able to unravel a few rows and get what was left back on the needle successfully.  Why is it that the scarf I'm making for someone I have a difficult relationship with is causing me so much, well, angst, really?  Am I projecting??? 

Did you see the picture of the little snake John caught?  Yes, that is a rattle.  I won't comment.

I think I'll go read till I conk out.  Five minutes, at least.  (New books on the side list, too.)

to get my library books returned on time?  I can renew them online 24/7, yet I owe the library $5.75 because I just couldn't quite drop off the books or renew them even though I knew stuff was due.  I need an assistant.  Or somebody to plan things for me and just hand me a list everyday. 

I sent Lex to school with this book today.  Yesterday he told his class that jello is made of cow's hooves and nobody believed him.  They said he was crazy, that jello was made of sugar and food coloring.  So, we looked it up, marked the page, and he's off to educate everyone.  However, the issue came up at the class sharing feast, so he is under STRICT ORDERS not to hurt the feelings of the boy who brought the jello.  We talked about ways to be informative without saying that jello is gross (but, really, ICK!) and I hope he'll be successful. 

I need to go get him.  He gets out early on Wednesdays, but Nate doesn't.  Kind of a bummer with the girls' naps.  Oh well. 

I haven't been on line since I last posted.  The days are just slipping by while I try to keep up with the kids and the laundry and the dishes.  I have made nearly 90 felt ornaments and about 50 button magnets.  I started another scarf, which makes me swear a lot since I picked a really fluffy floofy yarn that is too easy to split with the knitting needles.  Thanks for the knitting advice, I'll try it out tomorrow!

Not too much is going on.  I've been babysitting a couple of mornings a week, which is turning out to be a great thing for all of us.  Today the boys took care of themselves, playing in Nate's room and only coming out for lunch.  Willow has both her ears infected, poor little bug.  She's had lots of pain and I have even cried with her a couple of times because I know how much ear infections hurt.  I'm keeping her dosed with over the counter stuff.  Didn't have much luck with warm oil this time.  The boys have field trips and friendship/sharing feasts this week and next.  Today Nate's class went to the state park where John and I got married.  He had a great time, and told me all sorts of things that he learned.  He even told us a fairly complicated story that the instuctor told the kids.  I was impressed. 

I bought a decent mold for making soap -- a set of four connected mini loaf pans from our favorite little dime store place.  I'm going to try out a soap with powdered milk, vanilla and ground coffee.  Maybe some cinnamon, too.  I use a coconut vegetable soap base, melt it and add fragrance, then just pour it into a mold.  The stuff I've made in the past hasn't come out too well, but I picked up a book on clearance at the craft store last year and I'm finally getting it together to try again.  I'm hoping that the texture comes out better because I have about 25 different essential oils that I want to experiment with.  Tangerine peppermint, lemongrass and sage, valerian chamomile. . .

I haven't read any blogs and I think I'll go do that before my withdrawl symptoms go from mental to physical!

My nose and the grindstone have become very close the past couple of weeks.  I expect things to stay this way for a couple of more weeks as well.  At least thru December, so really more than a couple of weeks.  Sigh. 

I need to ask a favor from any of you knitty types. (Tankbear??)  What am I to do with the few inches of yarn at the beginning and end of the cute, but too long, scarf that I finished?  I made a washcloth and wove the ends back into it, but they show a little and I'm not happy with the results.  Thanks!! 

I'm so creeped out by the election results I can't stand it.  I haven't been on line in a couple of days, so I think I'll go console myself with some like minds.  I'm afraid for my children.  It just boggles my mind that so many people would choose that man and that administration.

heh, new buttons on typepad 

and a spellchecker, I may weep for something besides other than the state of this country (a strike-thru button!)

• one other thing I just noticed
• you can make
• bulleted lists

The kids had fun at their dad's today, and came home in time to go trick or treat at my mom's house. They got lots of candy and cookies and pumpkin peeps and Sophie got replacements for her hair doodads that got swiped from my mom's car at the carwash. She was happy.

Before we went to my mom's, my brother and his girlfriend came by with all their leftover candy and we went over to trick or treat at the beloved Ciao's. Ciao is our neighbor who lives in the duplex next door to ours. He is a really nice Italian man, grandfatherish age, who always, always, takes the time to visit with the kids. He sees them and waves and calls out, "Ciao, amore!" then tells them how beautiful they are in his wonderful Italian. They love it. Sophie began calling him Ciao when she was a newish talker, and she always said, "Hi Ciao!" to him. She recently learned his name, Alberto, and now calls him "Ciao Berty." I think it's especially nice for the 3 older kids, whose grandfather and great grandfather on their dad's side were Italian (their great great grandfather was born there, and their great grandfather grew up there). They have both passed away, so it's nice for the kids to have Ciao to talk to them in Italian and tell them how wonderful they are. His wife is really sweet, too, and took photos of the kids in their costumes and came to kiss Willow. We are lucky to have them as neighbors. At my old apartment the guy two doors down sold drugs, and I used to get wrong house knocks on the door at all hours. Sometimes you don't miss the good old days.

Anyway. . . ya think the kids got enough candy!?!

There's so much it doesn't even look good to me. Yet. Sigh.

I do feel lots better, thanks Shannon! I haven't read blogs in a couple of weeks, so I'll have to catch up with everyone. With the craft fair a month away, I think I'll have less and less time to do that. I'm looking forward to January. I like long winter days. I like to fool myself into thinking that I'll do lots of reading, sewing, knitting and photo taking. We'll see.